Game isn’t only about meeting women. It’s also about meeting guys to socialize with when you’re going to the clubs. It’s more fun than partying by yourself. On this particular occasion in Helsinki (Finland), I was looking for wingmen on the Couchsurfing “Hangouts” app. I decided to meet up with this guy because he had pics where he was posing with attractive women. These kind of photos were an indication that he may be a good wingman.
We briefly met the Wednesday and checked out the nightlife for the first time. We didn’t stay late and simply wanted to get ourselves better acquainted with the social scene.
Contents
The Night of the Pull
On the Thursday night, we checked out a new club recommendation that we received the previous night. It was Thursday, but the Friday was a public holiday since it was Easter. The clubs were going to be very busy. At about 8 pm, we arrived, but only a small part of the club was open. At this point, people were only chilling and not yet in a serious party mood. I spoke with a few women but decided I’m better off going to rest for an hour or two, and then coming back when it was busy. This turned out to be a good choice.
At 10h30, I came back well-rested and motivated. The place was swarming with hot Finnish girls. Not a lot of foreigners though, maybe only me and my wing. I hooked a lot of girls without almost any effort. I introduced physicality with the girls who were giving me good responses. Exchanged some Eskimo kisses and got some pecks on my lips. At some point I had to eject with some of these girls because they weren’t chasing me, they wanted me to chase them. I decided to eject these luke-warm sets and go for the girls who are really interested.
At some point, I got a make out from an attractive girl with dark-brown hair. But it was more a playful thing. So I kept on talking to other women there. What really helps is being able to play a numbers game, so that you can get rejected a lot until you meet a girl that you can go home with.
Mindset and Strategy
I kept my inner dialogue positive – but it was never in my mind to “get laid”. The goal is to have fun, get to know women you find attractive, and then take it from there.
I was having spontaneous conversations about whatever crossed my mind, sometimes saying crazy shit for the sake of self-amusement. This is both a side-effect of being in state, as well as something that helps you get into deeper social state. You use whatever is happening that day, or whatever you and your wing talked about, or your conversations with other people, to have a more fun and interesting conversation. Also, you learn to say things in a more colorful way, instead of simply giving her straightforward replies. For example, I came to Finland because it looked interesting in the photos on the internet, and then I immediately made the choice to go there to see if it looks like the photos. Or telling her your hunting for Easter eggs because it’s Easter weekend.
Say anything crazy in the conversation that flows naturally from your mouth. But this works better after a few rejections because then you become less outcome dependent.
Finding the Sweet Spot of the Night
Eventually, I started talking to the right Finnish woman, another brunette. She was hooked and very into me. We danced and then went to the bar to get drinks. She bought two beers, one for me and one for her. Here she also became more direct and mentioned having sex. Asking me if my large dick will fit into her tight pussy. First thought, why aren’t the women back home (in Cape Town) this direct. This was direct, but she was still classy. She was simply being authentic and we seemed sexually compatible from the get-go. I explain to her that of all the Africans, the Nigerians are known for having the largest penises, but I feel that I would probably fit in with some luck 🙂 Anyway, it was on.
Now we start talking about going to her apartment. I was very into her, as she was damn cute, although a year older than me. The lack of sunshine in Finland may be the cause of the women here looking young when they are older, because too much sun can damage the skin.
Now we leave the bar. There was no need for baby-stepping the pull here. We implicitly agree that we’re going to her apartment to have sex.
As we sit in the bus, waiting for it to fill up and depart, she tells me I don’t have to be nervous. I can totally relax with her. Meanwhile, I’m as chill as a cheesecake in the refrigerator of Helsinki’s cold temperatures with my warm winter jacket. I love her accent and different way of talking. She is a year older than me so she feels responsible for making me feel as comfortable as possible.
In The Finnish Girl’s Apartment
We get off the bus and go to her apartment. Here we put on music and drink some tea. I joke that she should light a candle to make it more romantic. Good 90’s music is playing in the background.
After 20 minutes, she gives me slight LMR (Last Minute Resistance) while we are dancing slowly and making out. But I reassure her that I’m also o.k. with only dancing like that the whole night. She likes my response and starts feeling me up over my pants.
Anyway, so we get our clothes off and get in the bed. We consummate with a perfect ending to a cold night.
The next morning (on the Friday) I leave early at around 8 am, because I had to check out from my hostel. After checking out, I caught the ferry to Tallinn, capital of Estonia. The Monday, after nearly over-sleeping, I caught the same ferry and returned to Helsinki to see the girl on a second date.
Further Take-outs / Summary
– As my Couchsurfing Hangouts wing pointed out: Don’t fidget with your hands at all in the club, e.g. don’t touch your shirt button or your neck as this is a sign of nervousness. Instead have a calm, open body language.
– Inner game and staying positive got me the pull that night. Also wanting to have fun, instead of “wanting to have sex”. It really helps as the law of state transference means that the girl will feel your fun vibe. This is all that is needed for the pull to happen – the fun vibe along with meeting the right girl.
It’s always still a numbers game! Not all women will ever be into you.
Although if you are enjoying yourself, you’ll be more detached from the pull happening or not, because you’re simply having fun, and being social and spontaneous. Spontaneity in the club puts you in a good state of mind of giving value instead of taking value.
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