How To Ask For A Second Date

So you had a decent first date, and now you want to see the girl again for a second date. At least, I hope it was a pleasant first date, otherwise why would you expect to see her again?

Follow-up dates happen naturally with mutual attraction. Because, the girl would be very compliant to your advances. If she likes you, she would not make it excruciatingly difficult to see her again. Of course, she may be busy with work in the meantime. Thus, you may have to remain positive and patient.

Positive Mindset

Sometimes, the only requirement is for you not to screw it up e.g. through being very negative. This is sometimes a problem with guys used to rejection and years of nice guy syndrome. They expect rejection, even if a girl potentially likes them back. Maybe the girl even already had sex with you on the first date. But you are used to girls turning you down. So you think in your mind, that the first date must have been a fluke. You got lucky and that’s that. However, this is bad mindset.

If you’re new to seduction, it may take a while to see your own likability. However, learn to expect success, instead of rejection. Not in a delusional way. For example, don’t send a girl 10 messages while she sends nothing back. Because, then you’re wasting your time on a woman who doesn’t value you, nor deserve your attention. But otherwise, keep a healthy high self-esteem mindset, and your second dates will come easier.

Moreover, you’ll realize when there is insurmountable incompatibility, which is O.K. as well. This is especially common with online dating, as you don’t see the girl in person before the first date (and vice-versa). Thus it’s higher likelihood of incompatibility.

However, once you start getting great first dates, remember that you’re no longer the same celibate guy you were before. You have a new identity. You are now good with women.

Second Date Technique

Generally, you should wait a few days before asking the girl out again, e.g. 2 to 4 days. It creates some space, intrigue, sexual tension and a vibe of abundance if you don’t immediately ask the girl out the same day or the day after your first date.

Yet if the girl really likes you, she may agree to a second date immediately, after a first date. However, my goal is to teach you to seduce. Thus, it’s more seductive to hold back a little, even if it means making her wait a day or 2 before proposing the second date.

When To Do The Second Date

My conviction, is you should see the girl again in a week (7 days time-frame). This could also be exactly 7 days from the first date. This is simply very realistic. If you don’t wanna see her again in a 7-day time-frame, then you don’t really like her enough. It’s the same with the girl. If she likes you enough, and she’s in town for that week, she’ll make an effort to see you at least once a week initially. Unless she’s e.g. genuinely going away on a business trip.

Waiting too long

IF you wait a month to ask her for a second date, it’s not ideal, as things will fizzle out. Unless you have a real reason why you only get back to her one month afterwards, e.g. you left her city in the interim.

However, if you only felt like seeing her again one month later, it means that you’re not very into her. Later on, when you’re horny or in a dry spell, you may long for the great sex you had with her that night. But fact remains, that if you only think of a girl during a dry spell, then you don’t really like her that much. In that case, forget her and focus on the abundance of women around you.

How to Re-initiate After The First Date

You could simply ping the chick with your texting app: “Hi.” This ping technique I learned from girls who pinged me after a first date. It’s bare basics, and effective if the girl is into you. Thus, do take note of the re-initiation tactics girls use on you. As you can also learn from women (the most expert seducers). After you send a ping-text, if she’s not into you, she simply won’t respond.

Some coaches are meme obsessed, and prefer to send memes to re-initiate. However, I’m not really into memes. It could even be try hard, to try elicit laughter from a girl with a meme. Thus if you do send memes, let it be a very spontaneous meme – congruent with your own sense of humor.

If a girl is not very into you, memes might give her a chuckle, but it’ll still be a shallow attraction. Memes don’t lead to miracles.

My Own Technique

My own technique is to reconnect with something you talked about on the date. For example, she told you she’s planning to do something in the following few days. Now, in your follow-up text +- 3 days after the first date, ask her how that activity was.

Here is 3 examples of how I’ve successfully re-initiated second dates:

A.

Did your hike go ahead on sunday ? 😉

We met on the saturday, got naked… She told me she’s doing a hike the next day.

Three days later I asked her if her hike went ahead. This is simply a straight-forward thread from date 1, to reconnect with the girl again. After she responds, we exchange two or three messages, and I ask her out again for the second date.

Second date was also successful.

B.

Me: Hi..

(then wait for her to respond)

Her: Hi 🙂

Me: Having a nice easter?

Her: She responds and asks about my weekend as well.

I tell her what I’m up to. She says it sounds like a lot of fun. Now she spontaneously suggests that she’ll be home in case I wanna hang out. Of course, I simply agree and we hang out.

C.

Two days after a Saturday nightgame pull, I text her: “Did you have a fun Sunday? 😉 ”

She responds: “Yes really fun” …she went to Tigre close to Buenos Aires, “if you want we can go there together some day”.

So the girl immediately suggests a possible second date activity right after I hit her up. This is a positive sign of very strong interest. However, even if you’re the one suggesting the follow up, it can also be strong interest.

The Girl Re-Initiates (Tables Turned)

Sometimes the girl will ask you out for the second date, before you have a chance. This refers to a follow up text e.g. around 2 to 5 days after the first date. If this happens its a really good sign. It means the girl is very into you. In her text, she may for example ask “if you want to see her again?”, or she’ll ask something about your life or what you’re up to.

Set up the Second Date during the First date

Sometimes you vibe very well on first date, but you have limited time in a city. In this case, you should mention to the girl e.g. you’re leaving in 4 days, thus you want to see her again in the next day or two. If the girl likes you, she’ll agree. But generally first establish if she’s into you. For example, spend maximum time with her on the first date, taking it as far as you can. Then a natural outflow from this is you suggest to meet her again before you leave her city.

Unsuccessful Attempts To Re-initiate

After the first date, sometimes you won’t hear from the girl again. You send her “hi” but she sends nothing back (a.k.a. ghosting or leaving you on read). It means she’s not interested at that point. Perhaps very vague interest. But not enough. Similarly, you send her a humorous meme after the first date, but she sends nothing back. It means move on.

She might respond if you ask her about her weekend, etc. But this doesn’t mean necessarily that there is strong enough attraction for date 2. As I mentioned, reconnecting on some first date topic, is what I consider the best strategy. Then she remembers the good feelings from the first date. But when you’re feeling confident, a simple “Hi” will do to re-initiate.

However, there are never any guarantees for a second date. The dating market is very competitive. If she e.g. wants a guy with a six pack or a PhD, then that’s what she’s gonna go for. Hopefully, she doesn’t expect you to drive a Ferrari – as you don’t want a gold-digger anyway.

The Same Night Tell

If a girl doesn’t text you anything after the first date, it means she’s not very into you. If a girl is into you, she’ll send a message the same night or the day right after the first date. This is a very accurate “tell” and “rule of thumb”. Thus, if she likes you, expect a message like “Thanks, I had fun tonight! Good night x “. Unless it’s late night and she’s too tired or sleepy to send something immediately. Give her 24 hours after the first date, to send you a follow-up text expressing her interest. Otherwise, she has only faint interest.

Women like to chase. So if you give her space to chase, she’ll take the opportunity.

A few more useful rules. If a girl likes you enough, these rules don’t matter, otherwise keep it in mind:

• Don’t appear too available. Ideally, you’d genuinely have cool stuff going on in your life.
• Don’t text a girl when your dick is hard. Take a cold shower, or drink some cold water first, then text.
• Don’t text when you’re half-asleep e.g. late-night , early-morning. First get that cup of coffee in.

The more available you appear, the less space you give for her to chase. Appear like you have other stuff going on as well. If you’re genuinely busy, you’re less likely to get negative thoughts, or send dumb impatient texts, when she’s making you wait for a response to your texts. She may simply be organizing a few things in her life first, to make space for your second date.

If you want, you can also call her, instead of texting. Texting is easier though.

Conclusion – Second Date

A good first date, leads to second dates. Bad first dates go nowhere. Thus, put all your effort into being attractive, sexy, seductive, and flirtatious on the first date. It’s your one shot to see the girl again.

Of course, some women won’t like you no matter how much you work on yourself. Don’t focus your attention on those girls – as they may be seeking validation, instead of necessarily being very attracted to you. Focus on the 20% of women who will give you 80% of the “results”. Not on the 80% giving you 20% return.

 

What’s your view on getting second dates with girls, successfully? Do you use memes, or what’s your favorite technique, tips or questions? Comment below!