“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”
– TS Elliot
Contents
11 pm
It’s late Sunday night in the Suburbs of Cape Town. I speak into the voice recording app on my phone. Capturing the Field Report while it’s still fresh in my mind.
10h40 pm
We Consummate the Tinder Date. I’m inside of her. Another Human. Different Gender. Blonde. Fit. And so damn Sexy. The Condom has the final say.
How long did it take to get to this point, and work through the LMR?
4 hours and 40 minutes.
Was it worth it?
Hell yes.
10h30 pm
With her below me, we stop grinding and dry-humping as she unbuttons my zip. We both get naked and start feeling each other up. I grab my SOS condom container. I slide into her, she’s on top. She tells me to let it set before I start pumping.
10h10 pm
The movie ends. I go for the kiss, bite her upper lip a little to turn her on. This time she makes out passionately. We dry hump, her top comes off, the bra is off.
8h30 to 10 pm
We watch a comedy. There’s a lot of sexual humor in the movie, thus it’s great for a first date. While watching, we spoon and cuddle on the couch. It feels good. She lets me rest my hand on her ass, and also below her navel, but not all the way. I feel her pubic hair.
Towards the end of the movie, I’m rubbing her up over her underwear. She takes my hand away after a few minutes of sexual deep breathing. She has some LMR (last minute resistance), but at the same time allows more physicality gradually.
Next, I massage her boobs. But, as my hands veer lower, she reprimands in a friendly voice tone: “Hands out of the cookie jar”, and pulls my hand upwards again.
“You have to earn that first”.
O.K… if you insist.
Well, it’s a shit test. Acknowledge the shit test “O.K.”. Take a step back. Chill for a few minutes. Let her know she is 100% in control, and then proceed to re-engage cuddling.
8 to 8h30 pm
We arrive at her apartment. She offers coffee. We sit and talk for 10 minutes, then put on some music on her laptop. We exchange a few kisses while sitting close. I massage her neck muscles and lower back while enjoying short make outs.
Next, she suggests putting on a movie. I feel it’s going to happen during the movie. And that the movie is the prelude to sexual intercourses. Also providing plausible deniability for her afterwards: “We were only watching a movie, cuddling, and then it spontaneously happened.”
7h45 to 8 pm
While driving to her house, I assume the pull. I didn’t want to bring coffee at her place up, in the conversation. so I leave this for the last minute. My plan works. She suggests the coffee, instead of me trying to weasel my way into her apartment. If it comes out of her mouth, it’s always better. She’s the one bringing it up, so there are no objections nor resistance on her behalf, whatsoever.
7h40 pm
In the car, I go for a first make out attempt. She pulls back and does not want to give everything away too quickly.
7h35 pm
We end the dinner, and I pay the full bill. This includes about $3 for her beer. Since she doesn’t look that rich, I don’t mind paying. It’s an investment in our interaction. Many women will reciprocate good vibes if you treat her well on the date (even though it’s not essential to pay). From my side, I reward her if she shows me a good attitude and if I can tell she’s sincere.
6h30 to 7h30 pm
We get dinner and a drink while discussing normal dating conversation topics. She obviously puts her best foot forward. Tells me she doesn’t believe in simply having sex immediately since she values long relationships – and not quick hookups (blah blah blah). These are shit tests because she still wants to find out what type of guy I am.
I tease her about her hipster clothing and ask if she bought her jersey in a second-hand shop. Next, she shows me her tattoo with a photo on her phone. When girls share photos they are usually into you. She asks me “what is the craziest thing I’ve done?”. This is often a question I ask girls, so if a girl asks you this, then its a good sign. It means she is chasing you.
This girl has a crazy spontaneous side in her way of talking. This is another good sign. She may also be spontaneous with other …activities. Now she lights a cigarette and doesn’t eat anything, while I order a bite.
She tells me some anecdotes about her life in the suburbs. That’s good, let her invest in the conversation. It’s a woman who has already been married once. Girls like these are generally less likely to be prudish. She’s not shy to breach more sexual topics.
6 to 6h30 pm
I pick her up at her apartment. We drive to find a place to get a drink. A few of the bars are already closed. It is only in the suburbs of Cape Town where a lounge or bar will be closed on a Sunday evening. But we find a bar with a nice view. We sit facing each other. The nice view is more important than immediately sitting next to her.
Before
After we match on Tinder, I ask her if she lives on her own. She responds yes. This is a good sign. If she said no, I probably would not drive to meet her. Otherwise, driving to her can be a good idea.
The positive about driving to her is that there is more time to potentially have sex. If she drives to you, then she would have to spend an extra half hour on the road to you, and another half hour back. But if you drive to her, you get an extra hour to get to know each other, thus resulting in greater likelihood of getting intimate.
I set the time for the date at 6 pm. To ensure we have enough time to build comfort throughout the night.
“Begin with the End in Mind” (- S. Covey)
Post your suggestions, thoughts or questions for this Online Dating field report below in the comment section below!