Should you kiss a girl on the first date? If you’re into her, definitely. But go for the make out, and not only a peck on the lips (unless you love being a virgin).
Of course, going for the make-out doesn’t mean the girl will reciprocate your attraction. If a girl declines you a make out on the first date, she’s generally not interested. An exception is if it’s a daytime date and you are in a public place where a make out will be awkward.
If I date a girl at night, I won’t contact her again if she does not make out with me. In this case, rather give her some space and leave the follow-up text up to her. If she is interested she’ll send one, as long as you do your part by making a move on her.
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Go for the Kiss, or Move On
Make out’s are not a big thing. Either the attraction between you and the girl is there from the beginning or it is not. If a girl is attracted to you she’ll make out with you on the first date.
It has happened though that I’ve been declined a make out on the first date. Only got a peck on the lips instead. Then a few days later the girl texts me, and I end up at her place an hour or two later. This is why I say, leave the further contact up to the woman if she declines the make out on the first date. Sometimes you have to let her wonder for a day or two, to make her want you bad enough.
However, it’s very important to remember in this case, that I still made the move and went for the kiss. This is basically the baseline for every date – make a move or embrace celibacy.
Yet most of the time, she isn’t interested if she doesn’t let you make out with her on the first date. But only if it is a night-time date. Not making out with you in the day doesn’t mean that she is not interested. In some cultures, day-time public make-outs are frowned upon.
If You Don’t Kiss on the First Date, Then When?
You have to get into the habit of making out with women on the first date. Otherwise, some other guy who moves quicker than you will make out with her instead. You’ll bore her, or make her think you are gay, or only looking for friendship.
However, having a make out on the first date doesn’t mean there’ll be a second date. A woman can make out with you either (a) because she feels some attraction – and it is a fun thing to do at that moment. Otherwise, (b) because she’s very attracted and wants to date and see you again. Either way, if you don’t go for the kiss on the first night, there most likely will not be a second date. Or she’ll friendzone you after the first date.
If there’s strong attraction both ways, you can go beyond the make out and hook-up as well. (Restricted: 18+). Use a Condom.
When Do I Kiss Her During the Date?
If you’re feeling lucky, after 30 minutes. Otherwise more conservatively, after 50 minutes. But either way, the right time is definitely not right at the beginning.
Build some comfort first, slowly build physicality, then half hour in you can go for the first make out attempt. Sometimes if the physicality goes very well, e.g. she’s very playful and sitting on your lap after 15 minutes. Then you can go for the make out MUCH quicker. Otherwise, you can risk an early rejection after 30 minutes, in which case you simply go in for the make out again 15 to 20 minutes later.
Obviously, it’s best to sit right next to her. Otherwise, simply get up from your chair and go kiss her. But of course don’t force yourself onto her – it’s still up to the girl to decide whether she’ll let you kiss her. If you’re experienced in dating, then the photo below may have happened to you somewhere along the line (Not all girls will ever be into you).
If after 60 minutes she hasn’t made out with you yet, she’s potentially not that into you. Unless there is another IOI (Indicator of interest) e.g. she’s sitting close to you on the couch watching series together, or she’s still engaging in flirty banter with you. Then keep trying for the make out. Otherwise, if she’s willing to go to your apartment after declining your make out attempt, she may simply be shy of public make outs and prefer something more private.
Keeping it Practical
You can literally look at your watch the moment you meet her first, then take a mental note of the time passing. For example, you arrive at 7 pm. Then at 7h40pm, you glance at your watch and decide you’re going to have the first make-out attempt. She may gaze into your eyes, or not, it doesn’t matter. Move into her slowly, and see what she does. If her head pulls back, then either she doesn’t like you or it’s too quick for her. If you make out instead then its great.
You could simply while holding eye contact, with an arm around her back, softly pull her in for the kiss. Of course, I’m hoping you’ve already brought in some physicality into the interaction at this point. Going for the kiss before you’ve even given her a reassuring touch on her shoulder or upper arm, is not the best strategy.
If you get an early kiss rejection, stick it out until it’s been a full hour. Then try again.
After the make out, when about 1 hour has passed, take her somewhere else. For example to your house or apartment. Or go for a stroll, or to another club or to play pool or whatever you specifically would like to do. Of course, taking her to yours is by far the best choice.
See how she responds to your suggestions. If she wants to go back home instead, then calmly say goodbye. And keep on gaming other girls until you have something more solid with her.
How soon do you kiss on a date? If this is one of your sticking points, then what’s holding you back? Post your tips and questions below!
Thanks for the post. As a man, it’s often assumed your supposed to know how to relate to women in an attractive way. Mainstream society will tell you lies, like simply pay the bill, have a pleasant strictly-platonic conversation to get to know her, and don’t make her feel uncomfortable in any way, on a first date, by e.g. trying to kiss her at the end of the date.
Um excuse me? She’s on a date with you, of course you should go for the kiss, and make a move. Otherwise she shouldn’t be on a date with you. Thanks to sites like yours, men can learn how to effectively seduce women, because they don’t really teach this stuff anywhere else than in the manosphere.
I agree with you. We are all caught up in this mess of being Politically Correct, and gender correct as if there is more than 2 genders, and you can’t use gender pronouns, or it’s wrong to approach and talk to a cute girl, etc.
Thus young men can get seriously confused, and if they don’t get authentic male help, they turn to drugs, and alcohol.
Men want to learn how to be men, because no one else teaches them how. Thus they go to the Manosphere.
A woman can’t teach you how to be a man, but as men, we can help eachother out. We teach men how to relate to women in a respectable, but still sexy, confident, and attractive way.