DTF Matches With Women: Which Online Girls Should You Date?

Not screening the girls you match with online, is setting yourself up for failure. It’s like flipping a coin, and gambling your time. Some coaches will say you should date as many girls as possible. This is a good idea for noobs. But once you get to a couple of notches, you should question dating absolutely every girl you match with. Thus, you become the chooser by screening for DTF girls.

Before we begin, I should add there is a serious risk of over-screening your online matches. This refers to putting off (repulsing) girls who would otherwise be fun on dates, by being too sexual upfront. Keep this in mind while reading this article.

Clash of Expectations

Unless you get a great vibe upfront, don’t rush into a first date. Ask yourself, what is the feeling you get from the girl beforehand. Are you reasonably sure that she will meet your physical needs and expectations? Its up to the girl to make you feel certain. Expecting something physical on a date is not unreasonable. But you should try to screen to avoid leaving the date disappointed.

You could even mention upfront that you’re interested in a relationship, but also something physical. If the girl now freaks out, then she’s a waste of time. You do have sexual needs, like any other man, which you have the right to be met (with consent of course – not advocating rape here).

If you have very little experience with women, going by “gut-feeling” will be too difficult. But your judgement gets better as you get more experience. Eventually, you can have a 90%+ successful close rate on dates, because you’ve mastered the art of PRE-SCREENING.

Don’t be the guy who doesn’t value his time and who’ll meet up in the blink of an eye. Unless you got a good feeling that the date will actually go somewhere. Or unless you meet at her or your house, which has a higher likelihood of success. Otherwise, she has to somehow convince you that it’ll be a fun date before you meet up. This involves texting and e.g. asking her what she’s looking for on the app. Judging her vibe can also help.

The Vibe of her Pics, Social Media, or Bio

So if you’re into sex, look at her pics. Does she have pics with a bikini? It means she’s at least not shy nor introverted. Plus, she has body confidence. Is she sitting in a pose that has some sexual connotation? It means she’s Down To Fuck (DTF).

Also check what type of pics she shares on Instagram: Nudity, alluring sexual poses, even if its not herself in these photos. She could be posting naked art photos of other women. This is a good sign that its a women in touch with her sexuality.

Even if she doesn’t have bikini photos, but at least wearing hot short pants in the daytime, thus showing off her legs. This is a better sign of her feeling comfortable with her sexuality, as opposed to a girl dressed as if she’s ultra-conservative. Of course, photos of a girl wearing a thong is even more of a DTF-tell than simply wearing a bikini.

There are lots of other small DTF-signs, which you’ll get to know gradually. For example, I’ve never met a girl with tattoos, who was either a virgin, or a prude (especially if she showcases these on her profile). Similarly, “420” means “I smoke marijuana”, but generally also, I do casual sex. Plus, if her profile looks alcoholic, then she’s obviously not some virtuous princess. Moreover, if her hair is some weird color (like pink or purple), it means she doesn’t care about fitting into societal norms, and she’ll likely put out on the first date.

What about her bio? For one, if she mentions she loves cuddling – this is a great sign that she’s DTF. Some girls do hide their sexuality more than others. This is why I also mentioned vibe as a factor. In fact, the vibe of the match, the texting, etc, is potentially the number 1 factor.

No Hookups

When a girl writes “No hookups” on her bio, contrary to what you may think, it’s actually a good sign that she’s likely DTF. It means hookups are on her mind, and that she has hooked up in the past. Thus she is that kinda girl, you simply have to bring it out of her. Saying “no hookups” is the girl’s way of putting up a smoke screen to anyone who may see her profile or judge her. It means that as long as her public image says “no hookups”, she basically can do whatever she wants in private. Because her fake smoke screen protects her public image.

Similar Types

Also, does it look like you may click with her? For example, if you’re an academic, and she is as well, that’s a plus. Or perhaps you have previous dating experience with her “type”. For example, she’s a party girl, or a hipster, and you usually do well with those types, then its a positive. On my side, I get along very well with psychology girls. Because I’m also very into the practical side of psychology (not academic psychology though). You could probably derive this from reading my blog-posts. Thus if I date psychology girls, I’m usually quite sure that it’ll go somewhere, since we are very likely to connect well on the date.

Another guy may avoid psychology girls like a plague because he’s convinced they’re all nuts. So that’s true for him. That bloke has to find the type of girls who he enjoys dating, e.g. could be a scientist, lawyer or accountant.

The Possibility of Time Wasting

Not withstanding all the above, there’s always a risk, even if its only a tiny 1% risk, that she still wouldn’t want to e.g. have sex (if that’s your expectation). So you have to weigh this risk along with other measures you can take to improve your dating life, such as improving your outer or inner game.

Another serious consideration: Is she sexy enough, if its online, or are you better off to spend that time day- or nightgaming? You might not be getting numbers like crazy at the moment. Even then, rather work on the skill of cold approach, instead of dating fat girls on tinder (as an example).

So if the risk is 50/50 that the date may be a waste of time, I’d rather do day- or nightgame. You don’t have to immediately unmatch her. The girl’s buying temperature can increase if she notices you’re not convinced that you should date her yet (and that the date will actually go somewhere).

If its appears 80% “on” that your physical needs will be met on the date, then go for the date if she’s attractive. 80% is reasonably solid. It’s sometimes a gut feel. Not all hocus pocus.

It can be something your subconscious mind notices, but your conscious mind doesn’t pick it up. For example, if her way of texting you is with great compliance and submissive, you can derive she’s very into you.

Over-Doing Dating Without Getting Results

Almost anyone, with half-decent photos, can organize a new date every night (in larger cities). But if your success ratio is low, it means you’re simply wasting time with women who either don’t value you, or who simply are not DTF matches.

Although there is a possibility, as well, that your dating skills are lacking, it’s always helpful to Pre-screen better. Don’t simply immediately agree to meet up, unless you have some certainty that it’ll go somewhere. Otherwise, you give the girl a ton of validation for her insecurities by driving to her. At the same time, she makes you go home that night to connect with your tissues and hand lotion (if she even was attractive).

Strong Interest Upfront

Some girls show strong interest from the first message. For example, blowing you a kiss, calling you “handsome”, or simply very compliant in the texting. See these girls as your strongest leads. As in sales, you always wanna make sure you follow up your strongest leads as a priority. Similarly, with hot leads in dating, you want to follow it up immediately whenever you’re free. Unless you are e.g. bored of sex. Or unless these strong leads aren’t hot enough to follow up.

A small warning, especially in third world countries: If a DTF match seems too good to be true, it probably is. For example a hot girl who looks like a model, complementing you left and right, inviting you to her house right away, but she won’t even give you her Whatsapp or Telegram number. This is probably a scam or catfish.

Logistics

Before the date, you need to be sure that there is a place to close. Thus sexual intercourse, if that’s what you want.

20% of the girls will give you 80% of the results you want. Get to that 20%.

You could finger-bang her in a dark street corner, especially if she’s an 80% girl. Otherwise, have a place to pull, e.g. your private room. Then see if she’s willing to come to you. Or ask if she lives alone. Then go to her if it feels like a solid dating prospect.

More factors:

• Who does she live with?
• Where do you live?
• Ask her: What is she looking for?
• Is she comfortable with edgy talk?
• Is she comfortable talking first on whatsapp? Or does she want to meet up for a quick coffee in a public space, get her validation, and then leave you behind with nothing.
• Does she reply to your questions? Or do you have to send her “pls respond” repeatedly.
• Are you overeager, or do you have a good feeling about the interaction?
• Is she giving you her Whatsapp or Telegram number?
• Did she give you a sincere physical compliment? (E.g. saying you’re a handsome man.)
• Is her texting compliant, or does she seems like she has too much attitude (important factor).
• Is cuddling mentioned somewhere e.g. in her bio or texting.
• Does she have some kind of excuse during the texting that she doesn’t want to drink alcohol with you (negative factor). Or maybe she strongly insists “only one glass”. If she’s DTF she wouldn’t feel, as much, the need to spell this out beforehand.

 

On The Date Screening

Pre-screening continues during the first 5 minutes of the date, if you meet through an online dating app. I’m referring to the first time you see eachother in person.

Learn to read the signs when you meet her. Is this date gonna go anywhere, yes or no? What vibe do you get from her in the first minute? For example, if she doesn’t even wanna let you give her a hug to say hello, or she keeps her distance. Then eject. There’s only a slim chance a girl who only greets you with a cold handshake, will have sex with you. Some girls, who are very into you, would even let you lip kiss them when you meet (a peck, not a make-out, obviously). On my side, I stick to a hug and cheek kiss, especially when I date Brazilian Women, cheek kiss is a given, but definitely not mandatory.

If she’s fat, or doesn’t look like her photos, then eject immediately. There may be a better girl waiting somewhere else for you (which happened to me in Ecuador [scroll down to Quito, Plaza Foch Field Report]).

If she’s weird: For example, without saying anything beforehand, she doesn’t wanna drink alcohol due to some random excuse or weird made-up medical condition. Then you could either eject straight-away, since you didn’t agree to a “coffee date”. Otherwise, polarize the interaction towards sex, or a physical relationship, and see how she reacts.

Screen, Set Boundaries, Build Attraction

When screening for DTF, you’ll notice some girls have the Half-Way Date idea. This is the worst possible date concept out there. You’re not close to her logistics, and you’re not close to your logistics, either. Thus, you’re in no-mans-land.

Refuse to drive to some intermediate location where you’ll have a drink, then peck eachother on the lips, and then go home. This way, you might occasionally ignite some extra attraction in her. Because you’re showing her some boundaries, which is sexy in a man.

For example, it’s often happened to me that I set my boundaries with the girl. I tell her I want to meet at my house or apartment. And if she notices I’m not budging, if she’s attracted enough, she might come over to my place. Otherwise, she may invite you to come over to her place, instead.

It’s not gonna work like this with every girl. But the girls who are into you, are sometimes testing if they can toy with you, like a boytoy or a dog. To see if you have boundaries. So if she knows you’re not gonna fall into some gay friend frame, then she may fall into your frame, instead. If she’s attracted enough, and you give the only option to meet you, as either your or her house, then she might follow through. However, this is an advanced technique that requires more experience. Otherwise if you’re a beginner, or lower-intermediate, you may piss off a few girls who would otherwise have had sex with you.

Ideal Logistics Summary

Even if it is e.g. a Friday night, and you feel tempted to go out to a restaurant or bar. Resist complicating things. Test the waters by asking her to come to your home. Otherwise, go to her house.

If she declines the above, then, especially on a Friday night, you can compromise and meet e.g. at a bar. Since Friday nights are still the friskiest night of the week, you can definitely still take the chance to meet in a bar or pub, close to your logistics.

Other nights of the week, if you’re looking for DTF girls, it can be risky meeting at a bar instead of inviting her directly over. HOWEVER, for more conservative-type girls, you would often have to be willing to meet them at a neutral place 5 minutes away from your apartment, such as a bar. Otherwise you’ll throw these dates away. Remember, with truly conservative girls, your first-date “close-ratio” will be lower, since these women often don’t have sex before the third date.

Mindset

 

• My time is valuable.
• I deserve respect.
• I respect my own time.
• I’d rather “put off” the girls with weak interest, rather than wasting my valuable time dating them.
• The girls who are attracted to me, will respect my honest sincere attempts to have sex with them.
• I instantly extract myself from all dates, whenever I’m not attracted enough (to that girl) to have sex.

 

Travel Screening

When traveling, you have to remind yourself to pre-screen as aggressively as you do back home. Because you are more hurried sometimes. For example, you may be outdoors away from an internet connection the whole day. Thus you spend less time pre-screening for dtf matches on dating apps. This means you may waste time dating the wrong women.

A strong bonus of dating while traveling, is the girls can tell you about all the city’s nightlife and tourist attractions. It’s up to you to weigh if these dates are still worth your time, even if it doesn’t lead to sex.

If you’re only visiting a city for a few days, you simply don’t have time for long drawn-out dating courtship. Thus, obviously in that case, you can experiment by being more sexually direct in your texting and other communication.

Building Trust Online

If she gives you her address on tinder, its a sign of trust and much more likely to lead to sex. Similar with her surname. Why would you date a girl who wouldn’t even give you her surname before meeting up? Especially in Third world countries, I see this as a catfish test: Is she willing to give her surname? Of course, I’m not going around asking every girl their address or surname, but you can if you want to.

If she doesn’t trust you with her address, or to a lesser degree, her surname, why would she trust you with her naked body?

Case Study: Pre-Screening by Making Her Drive to You

 

The Problem

While living in Stellenbosch (South Africa), a student town 45 minutes drive from Cape Town (depending on traffic), I often got matches in Cape Town City center and suburbs. These girls were between 30 minutes and an hour away from me by car. Obviously, as always, some of these girls were more invested in dating on Tinder than others.

Theoretically, due to getting a lot of matches, I could drive to a public date with a different girl every night of the week. Initially, when I was new to Tinder, that was exactly what I did for a month or two. But, I quickly realized I was wasting my time, since I was doing zero pre-screening for DTF matches.

In Cape Town specifically, there are a lot of sincere, but sexually conservative, women. However, there are also sluts looking for attention. They want validation about their sexual “attractiveness” on easy-to-install dating apps like Tinder, by making you waste your time and drive to them.

A few of my first bangs were from Zoosk. Unlike Tinder, but similar to e.g. VictoriaMilan, Zoosk requires you to pay for membership. Thus they screen out a lot of time-wasting girls, who are using Tinder for kicks, with no serious intention of hooking up. This phenomenon is similar to when you install any new app, you wanna try it out, but your initial commitment is very low.

Solution

So to prevent this problem, I eventually found a cool solution. Only date the girls who were willing to drive to me. If they were willing to meet me in my town (Stellenbosch), 5 minutes walking distance from my apartment, chances were that they’re very invested in online dating. They weren’t simply wasting my time, nor seeking validation, nor simply being an “attention whore” (crass phrase but necessary). The girls who drive to you, 30 to 60 minutes away, were usually sincere and genuinely into me. Of course, not always. There is no 100% method, no matter what lies are out there.

Either way, you have to find the cool things in your town. Why would a women drive to you? Well, this was a touristic little town, known especially for its good wine. So meeting at a wine bar was an easy sell on a Saturday around noon, even if she was 30 to 60 minutes away. Then from the wine bar, it was a five minute walk to my apartment. I was setting myself up for success.

The Worst Dates

But if I drove to central Cape Town, I was often setting myself up for failure. I was placing too much value on the girl, by spending petrol and time to drive to her. At that point I was not even 100% certain that the girl was hot. The girl could subconsciously pick up on this. Moreover, you may not know the nature of the beast, but some women can be manipulative. Like snakes that would bite you from across the table. These were the worst kind of dates.

But I found out sooner rather than later, that most narcissistic women don’t like driving to men, generally. Because they are insincere, and they’re not taking tinder seriously.

Within Cities

IF you live within the city, definitely still let the girl come to your neighborhood if its an online dating app. She’s at least then driving from her neighborhood to your neighborhood. Thus she’s investing time, petrol, or taxi money. These are great signs of attraction. Also rationalizing afterwards to herself: “OK, I spend this energy and money to get here on this date, thus this guy must be hot”.

if she’s not willing to drive 10 to 20 minutes, then what makes you think that she’s very into you? Do you value your time?

She may not want to come to your apartment, but she could come to the bar 5 minutes away. And I don’t care if she knows the bar is 5 minutes away from my apartment. You don’t want the ultra-prudish girls, who are still single at 30, always hyper-critical of every man they meet. This would typically be the girl who believes there’s some knight on a white horse who’s gonna come save the damsel in distress. That’s not realistic, because there is no perfect man.

Conclusion – DTF Matches

Pre-screening is a new and evolving science. Thus its never 100% accurate. You could probably call it an “art” as well. But the more socially skilled you become, the better you get at reading people, their emotions, and their intentions. For example, if a girl gives you short mechanical responses to your questions, e.g. yes, no, hey, etc, it usually means she’s not that attracted to you at that point of the texting. To read these subtle social cues, the phrase “Emotional Intelligence” (EQ) also comes to mind.

To conclude, the point is not to throw away good, sincere, conservative girls as matches. Because after you peel away the layers of social conditioning, these girls can also become fun raging nymphomaniacs. If you do want to throw away cute conservative girls, then create a pure “Fuckboy” profile, and send dickpics to every second match. This is what many other companies teach, but I don’t really believe in this myself. In my company, the primary goal is rather to unmatch and “throw away” the infamous timewasters. Especially since my company is not only about “DTF” sex dates, but also about finding girls for relationships.

I date, and coach men to date, specifically higher quality, upmarket women. Thus dickpics or extremely sexual fuckboy profiles, is NOT my strategy.

So at the end of the day, your strategy may still differ from mine. Because you got to find what works for you, in your situation. Also, girls in different countries can at times behave in different ways, due to their own unique culture and attitudes towards sexuality and dating.

But with this comprehensive guide, I trust you’ll up your success rates to at least 80% (or even more), on online dates from apps, in the near future.

What’s your views on pre-screening girls from online dating apps? Plus what do you consider a great DTF Match with a girl? Comment away.