Why Cold Approach is Better than Online Dating

In the past, there was no online dating. Nowadays, as technology improves, every year there is a new refined app for meeting singles. The negative side to this is that our forefathers actually went outside in the sun, or at night, and met people in social situations. They were incredibly well socialized. Are we breeding a society of nerds who lack the human touch and only stare at computer screens the whole day? Hopefully not. There are too many benefits in doing cold approach instead of (only) online dating.

Cold Approach is Safer than Online Dating

Let’s get the obvious safety aspects out of the way first. Online you can get stalked, while unfortunately authorities barely prioritize or investigate cyberstalking. In everyday life, through cold approach, you generally meet well-socialized people with normal lives. This is not always the case online. Most cold approach interactions are still pleasant, even if you get turned down.

On the other hand, online you could be speaking with a “catfish”. This refers to a person lying about their age or gender to fool you into talking with them. There are plenty of online dating scams. Especially in third world countries, con-artists are notorious for creating fake profiles. Then they would, for example, ask you to transfer money to a bank account to help pay the flight to come visit you for dating purposes.

Immediately See if There’s Physical Attraction

Do you want to wait until a first date before noticing that the woman who only had pics of her face or upper body on tinder turns out to be overweight? This is why I don’t recommend having long conversations online before meeting up. The person you’re texting could be anything from a “catfish” or female psycho to a complete waste of time. It’s best to get her number immediately and meet up, instead of postponing. However, you should of course ask more photos if you’re not yet convinced she’s attractive enough to date.

I have my own 7-day rule. If a girl won’t meet up within 7 days of matching, she’s often not that into you and might be a waste of time. Unless there’s another genuine, legitimate reason (or unless you were too busy yourself). The girls who perpetually tell you they’re too “busy” to meet up, without having an honest good reason, are simply “playing” you and “taking you for a ride”.

Furthermore, online you spend an hour getting dressed, sometimes drive 20 minutes or more, and then lock-in to a date with someone. So its hard to leave the date immediately. You’re basically gonna sit there bored for 40 minutes to an hour if you’re not into her. Then waste even more time if she’s not that into you.

If the girl doesn’t like your vibe or physical appearance, she can leave the interaction immediately if its a cold approach. But online, she has the same problem as you, where you get locked into a date with someone who you don’t want to hook up with. However, I definitely do recommend politely excusing yourself early-on during the date. This could be if you don’t further see the girl as a sexual prospect after meeting up. It’s more respectful of both your and her time.

Demonstrate your Confidence

It takes balls to do cold approach. Thus it helps demonstrate your confidence and high self-esteem. Women appreciate confident men. On a dating app, where any random dude can send messages, you’re not demonstrating as much confidence as you do by simply walking up to someone and starting a conversation. You distinguish yourself from most other guys if you can confidently cold approach while being stone sober.

Meet Hotter Girls

In cold approach, you’re not dealing with Instagram filters. Nor with girls selective uploading only their best photos to dating profiles.

The hottest girls very often aren’t even on tinder. They meet guys easily enough in their day to day because of their good looks.

Moreover, it’s normal in online dating to select and show your best photos. Everyone does this. But in real life cold approach, you’re not getting a photo. Instead, you’re seeing the girl right in front of you. This is a girl who potentially doesn’t even need online dating. No Instagram filters, what you see is what you get.

Fresh Air and More Social Interaction

Let’s not become a society where everyone is glued to their computers, televisions, video games, and phones all the time. Lets rather spend time outdoors, have pleasant interactions with strangers, and ditch the online dating apps from time to time. As a bonus, you get some fresh air and walking exercise.

Furthermore, approaching with the right attitude makes our society more open, warm and friendly. Do we want to be a society where we never talk to the people around us? As the saying goes: A stranger is potentially a friend you haven’t met yet.

Improve confidence and social skills

If you confidently approach attractive women, in a decent way, you’ll feel more socially (and emotionally) free, and less stuck in the head. On the other hand, someone else may take a mental photo of the girl who walked past home with him. Then fantasize about the memory, instead of at least attempting to start a conversation.

The social skills you improve through cold approach can translate into better business skills as well. For example, in sales, cold approach is valuable to meet new customers and to sell your products. Furthermore, if you communicate better with the opposite sex, you’ll also communicate better with male friends, colleagues, and family.

Why Online Dating is Better Than Cold Approach

Of course, online also has benefits over cold approach:

  • It’s easier, convenient, and quick to organize a hookup or date without leaving your house.
  • It helps guys who work difficult hours, or who work in all-male offices, to meet women.
  • It widens the pool of women you meet.
  • You can meet women you would otherwise not be able to meet e.g. women who work difficult hours, because you would not otherwise run or walk into her.
  • It can suit shy guys, or guys suffering from social anxiety. However, in this case, its definitely still recommended to also learn cold approach to avoid living in a technology bubble.

 

Conclusion

As you can see, both Cold Approach and Online dating have valuable benefits. Improving your cold approach dating skills (and gaining more experience) will also improve your online dating skills and vice versa. After explaining why you should cold approach more often, let’s quickly skim over the basics of how and where to cold approach.

How to Cold Approach

Choose a girl you consider attractive. Walk to her, like a horse with tunnel vision. Sit or stand next to her. Deliver an opener (either direct or indirect) and see if she’s open to have a conversation. Sometimes you can hook a girl with the right opener. Otherwise, after delivering the opener, hook her with interesting conversation and flirty banter instead. From there you can eventually get her phone number or take her to a quiet place. If this seems like too much of a challenge, read our post on approach anxiety.

Where to Cold Approach

The whole point of cold approach is that we’ve become a society glued to our tech devices. To change this, you can basically approach ANYWHERE. At work, at the park, grocery store, yoga class, waiting in line to board a plane, etc (read our in-depth post on 50 places to meet women).

Don’t let anyone ever shame you for doing cold approach wherever you are, as long as you can do it in a respectable way.

Which do you prefer: Cold Approach or Online Dating? Comment below why its your preference, along with any other questions or tips that you may have!

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